(Here's an old 1 updated) HOW TO SING THE BLUES?

Willys asocial suspicion for a day;

People regularly say, ‘the Blues have been simple.’ Well, that’s loyal ‘the Blues have been simple’ if we omit a freaking complexities!’

HOW TO SING THE BLUES  

1. Most sadness proceed "woke up this morning."  
2. "I got a great woman" is a bad approach to proceed a blues, unless we hang something nasty in a subsequent line. Like;

"I got a great lady with a meanest dog in town."  

3. Blues have been simple. After we have a initial line right, repeat it. Then find something which rhymes. Sort of.  

"Got a great lady with a meanest dog in town. He got teeth similar to Margaret Thatcher as well as he weighs about 500 pounds."  

4. The sadness have been not about vast choice. Blues cars have been Chevies as well as Cadillacs. Other excusable sadness travel is a Greyhound sight or a southbound train. Walkin’ plays a vital partial in a sadness lifestyle. So does fixin’ to die.  

6. Teenagers cant sing a blues. Adults sing a blues. Blues adult life equates to aged sufficient to get a electric chair if we fire a male in Memphis.  

7. You can have a sadness in New York City, though not in Brooklyn or Queens. Hard times in Vermont or North Dakota have been only a depression. Chicago, St. Louis as well as Kansas City have been still a most appropriate places to have a blues.  

8. The following colors do not go in a blues:   
a. violet  
b. beige  
c. mauve  
d. magenta

9. You cant have a sadness in an bureau or a selling mall, a lighting is wrong.  

10. Good places for a Blues:   
a. a highway  
b. a jailhouse  
c. a dull bed  
d. a dilemma of Elm St. & Vine

Bad places:   
a. Ashrams  
b. Gallery openings  
c. week end in a Hamptons  
d. upon a outing to disney world

11. No a single will hold it’s a sadness if we wear a suit, unless we occur to be an aged black man. Especially if we outlayed a night in a fit as well as it shows a fruppiness!

12. Do we have a right to sing a blues?   
Yes, if:   
a. your initial name is a southern state, similar to Georgia  
b. you’re blind  
c. we shot a male in Memphis.  
d. we cant be satisfied.  

No, if:   
a. we were once blind though right away can see.  
b. you’re deaf  
c. we have a certitude fund.  
d. you’re a teen-ager it do not make a difference how most group we kill in Memphis

13. Neither Julio Iglesias nor Barbara Streisand can sing a blues.  

14. If we ask for H2O as well as your baby gives we gasoline, it’s a blues. Other sadness beverages are:   
a. poor wine not Chateau whatever
b. Irish whiskey or Jack
c. Muddy H2O
d. H2O down-stream from a poisonous rubbish dump

Blues beverages have been NOT:   
a. Any churned drink  
b. Any booze kosher for Passover  
c. Yoo Hoo (all flavors)   
d. bottles H2O (Blues people splash from a freaking hose!)

15. If it occurs in a poor motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a sadness death. Stabbed in a behind by a sceptical partner is a sadness approach to die. So is a electric chair, piece abuse or being denied diagnosis in an puncture room. It is not a sadness death, if we die during a liposuction treatment.  

16. Some Blues names for Women  
a. Sadie  
b. Big Mama  
c. Bessie  
d. Little Girl

17. Some Blues Names for Men  
a. Joe  
b. Willy 
c. Little Willie  
d. Lightning  

Persons with names similar to Sierra or Sequoia will not be available to sing a sadness no make a difference how most group they fire in Memphis.  

17B. Other Blues Names (Starter Kit)   
a. Name of Physical feebleness (Blind, Cripple, Asthmatic)   
b. First name (see above) or name of ripened offspring (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi)   
c. Last Name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)  

Okay let me try this; "One-armed tattooed Willy Cantelope Clinton…" Now let me know how which ‘rolls off a tongue?’

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

From; Willys Jokes archies!